On Accountability

A couple of triumphs before I get started on accountability:
- Went over notes from last fall's Lincoln and John Brown presentation and put together an outline to send to the editor of Civil War History, and sent it the other night.
- Got a few more prof letters under my belt and nailed down one rec letter for fall.
- All tests from yesterday graded and two of the three classes' scores online.
- Questions for Monday's history lesson on WWII done and up on the class site.
- Two essay drafts reviewed and comments sent to students.

Not bad, eh?

Now - on to accountability. Accountability can be a very useful tool to a procrastinator, especially to those who feel embarrassed at their lack of productivity when they know they've had time to do something and just haven't. Many of us procrastinators do not know how to be accountable to ourselves, unless it's just to the final deadline and nothing else. People tell me, "can't you just make your own deadlines for things? For making sure parts of whatever you're working on are done by a certain day, so you can at least be working toward the final product?" Frankly, as good an idea as that is, because I am the way I am, I always know that since it's MY deadline, set by my own self, it's ALWAYS negotiable and when I try it, it's almost always broken. That's where being accountable to someone outside of yourself can be very helpful. Being accountable to someone else can also be a good way to make sure that you are measuring your time in a realistic way (i.e., not overestimating how much you can reasonably get done in a day), which is another problem that I and many other procrastinators have.

In a previous blog I tell about how a friend and I used to email each other accountability lists of things we planned on doing that day or week and then report back each night with how much we'd gotten done. This served several purposes:
1. Accountability to one another, of course.
2. Each making sure that the other person's list is doable/manageable and pointing out if a list seems too optimistic or potentially overwhelming.
3. Possibility for advice as to how to handle a certain deadline or task if it's looming very close and enough hasn't been done yet.
4. Allowing each of us to see, "on paper", and receive outside praise for the things we had accomplished. Knowing that you're accomplishing something, even if it's whittling away at a project bit by bit, encourages even procrastinators to keep going. It has something to do with a feel-good chemical in your brain that gets released when you can see how far you've come with something.
5. There is a possible record of how long (in days, at the very least) it took each of us to get something done, therefore giving us a better idea of how to budget our time for similar tasks in the future.
6. It makes each of us put together a "to do" list for that day - if it were just us each alone, we might not to it. And for many procrastinators, if there is no list, it's easy to lose track of just how many things need to get done, which enables our "I have plenty of time because it really isn't that much to do" mentality further.

Why this works for me: With this friend, the accountability is mutual, and since we are both procrastinator/perfectionists with tendencies for harsh self-criticisms, we understand each other, can boost each other, and kick each other in the butt if necessary, as well as make sure we're also not too hard on ourselves (as we often are, although we are much fairer toward each other). We are also both academics, and we both understand the demands and requirements of being academics, which helps us to understand each other's lists and priorities. When we do the accountability lists with each other consistently, it seems to work very well for both of us. However, there are plenty of times (like now) when we're just too busy or whatever to keep up with them.

There is another kind of accountability that I've tried too, which also works okay, and has other benefits as well. With this one, there is a sort of work plan with "fake" deadlines, but these deadlines are accountable to someone else (one time I did this with a friend and another time with a professor). The two of us sit down together at the beginning of a project and make a timeline of when different parts of the project should be done. This is great, because it helps you make a concrete plan (kind of like a project "to do" list), but also, it breaks the larger task into smaller, much more manageable parts. How many of us procrastinators tend to put off a project or task because it's "just too big! I'll never get that done, because I'll never have that big a block of time!"? We tend too often to concentrate on that finished project and how inconceivably large it is. But when you sit down (whether with an accountability partner or on your own) and look at the project and all the many parts - those small goals - that lead up to that finished product, it's not so bad. Concentrating on the small goals and what it takes to get those parts done can really help. And reinforcement of positive behavior (pardon me while I get even more psychological on you) happens a lot easier by accomplishing smaller goals more often than by accomplishing larger goals only every-so-often.

After we've gotten a timeline/deadlines fixed for those parts, my friend and I will put together a sort of notebook (this worked for us - you may need something different or you might not need it at all) and a contract sheet containing all the dates and what would be done by each date. By each one, there is a place for the signature of the friend, so that when something gets done, she sees it and then signs off that I've actually done it.

Sometimes the date beside her signature (for the day she actually signs off on that part) is after the original deadline - sometimes these delays are planned, sometimes not; sometimes they are because of procrastination and sometimes not. But this again shows (especially if it's a new project) if the time you expected to have something done by was realistic or not. If you didn't procrastinate or did so very little, and you still didn't get it done, you'll probably need to rethink how much time you need to set for that same part next time. If you use the notebook I mentioned before, you can record how you did - timing-wise, procrastination-wise, and if there were reasons you think you procrastinated on that particular part, or why you might not have, if you didn't procrastinate. Recording all these bits is good to do, not just because you can see just how much you under/over-estimated the time a part would take, but also so you can learn the patterns of your own procrastination. And if you know your own patterns, you can plan better and be prepared for your procrastination (you KNOW you're going to procrastinate, so why not just plan it in? It'll be much less stressful this way! - I have a friend who does this, by the way.)

Why this works for me: Accountability can be a double edged sword, especially for perfectionists, particularly if it's not handled right. This arrangement seems to sidestep some of those issues that, for me and many perfectionist procrastinators, can trigger an even deeper abyss of procrastination. This gets those "fake" deadlines set up so that I can get parts of a bigger thing done in a timely manner, making sure I have at least one other person I have to be accountable to for that deadline. But it doesn't put the same type of pressure on you that a real deadline does. For example: often in classes, the teacher has parts of your research/term paper due before the final product is due at the end of the class or whenever. Don't get me wrong - this set up is still much more preferable to me than the, "Here's when the final product is due several months down the line, good luck." I still have problems with it, though: 1. Often the teacher expects parts of a paper to be turned in that, if left alone, I don't normally do or don't do until I'm pretty much ready to write the paper and sometimes WHILE I'm writing the paper(i.e., an initial outline, a beautifully crafted thesis statement, etc.). This, to me, is a waste of time, and I STILL procrastinate on it and get stressed out, because it's a REAL deadline. 2. There is still this pressure, because you're doing these parts for a grade or whatever, to have them be perfect. Even if the teacher doesn't expect them to be perfect, it is the nature of a perfectionist to make them so.

With this "fake" deadline-based accountability structure, YOU get to pick what gets done, and if it DOESN'T, for whatever reason get done on time or imperfectly, you know that YOU did set the deadlines, and that your accountability partner is not going to give you a bad grade if you dropped the ball. The accountability partner is there for encouragement, support, reminding, and, if need be, and occasional kick in the pants, but is not there to judge you. Grading, by nature, is a judgment. Not necessarily of you (although sometimes of you), but of your work. Your partner, however, doesn't even have to read your work if you don't want them to (although mine usually does); their main purpose is to KEEP YOU ON TRACK. And if you need a few extra days to finish something, since the deadline isn't real, there's no reason not to take those few extra days. We're trying to AVOID feeling that crazy stressful pressure, not create it, right?

Just a word of advice: if you want to go this route, with an accountability partner of any kind, choose your partner wisely. Those who do not push you enough are of no use to you (and quite possibly enable your procrastination), but those who get power hungry and try to push too hard, or who don't understand what kinds of "encouragement" might be the wrong kind (i.e., teasing? nagging? Yours may be different from mine.) will only make you procrastinate more. I've been very lucky in this respect to have people who understood what I needed and when I needed it. I hope that if you decide to try accountability, you can find someone who truly helps you.